


Nui No Kata

by Shaddik



Category: Dororo (Anime 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, dororo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-26 07:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30102753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shaddik/pseuds/Shaddik
Summary: What if a young mother got to keep and raise the child her husband cursed and tried to take from her? And what if she chose to carry the burden of restoring her son's body for him? This is the story of the love between mother and child, and how far it can push one to set things right.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

Nui No Kata felt the first contraction just before dawn.

She awoke suddenly and gasped as her stomach tightened. The pain was brief, but she knew it was only the beginning. Still, it might not be time yet. She had had a few false contractions for the past two weeks, none of them had led to anything. Even so, she had a feeling that this would be the day. She opened her eyes and saw the dark of night starting to fade. There was no point in going back to sleep now, but she stayed quiet and pretended to rest so as to keep from waking her husband.

Daigo was turned on his side away from her, sleeping soundly. Nui glanced over at him, watching his still form gently rise and fall. He was a light sleeper, any sound she made could wake him. She started to raise her hand to brush her fingers through his hair, but she resisted the impulse. He didn’t like to be touched, not even by her.

It wasn’t long after that the next contraction hit, this one worse than before. She almost let out a cry, but clamped her hand over her mouth just in time. Even so, Daigo woke and rose from the bed.

As he began to get dressed, he said, “I must go, but I will return soon, Oku.”

“Where are you going, my lord?” she asked. He hadn’t mentioned going anywhere the day before.

“You needn’t know. But when I return, our lives will have changed for the better.” He looked to her not with a smile, but with a fire in his eyes that concerned her.

“Please wait until tomorrow, my love. I believe this is the day our child will be born. The pain has already started.”

Daigo’s eyes widened, and the fire only grew. “If that’s true, then I must go even sooner. He will be born into a better world, a greater world. Only his father can give him this.”

Nui wanted to press him for details; he believed he was doing something good, but how could it be good if he wouldn’t even tell her what it was? But she had learned long ago not to question him. Better to focus on being a good wife for him, to please him in every way. He always seemed to be scowling nowadays, rarely smiling. She missed his smile, and blamed herself for its absence.

Daigo left but sent in two servants. She heard him call to another to go and fetch the midwife from the nearby town. As he was leaving, her next contraction hit and rain began to fall outside in a heavy shower. 

The servants tended to her while they waited for the midwife. She knew the pain would be bad, but there was no way she could have truly prepared herself for it as it grew stronger and more intense.

The midwife arrived within the hour, but it felt much longer to her. “You’re doing well, my lady,” the old woman said as she knelt by her side. “Your little one is arriving sooner than I expected.”

“It is too early?” she asked, trying not to panic.

“No, no, the child will be just fine,” the midwife assured her. “They’re just impatient, is all. They can’t wait to meet you.”

Nui hoped so. She had tried to learn all she could about caring for a child, but she still felt like she didn’t know enough. She feared she never would.

“I will do my best to be a good mother to you, little one,” she said under her breath.

Hours passed them by, with the midwife and servants tending to her and offering her encouragement as she endured the agony. She did her best to remain quiet, not wanting her baby to hear her scream. Her eyes were squeezed shut from the pain, but every so often she would force them open to see if Daigo had returned. His presence would ease her fears and lend her strength, but she worried he would miss the birth of his child entirely.

She let out a shaky sigh when she heard one of her servants going out to meet him. She expected him to come in and sit by her side, and maybe even hold her hand. But he kept his distance, so she had to content herself with knowing he was nearby.

“My lady, just a bit more,” the midwife whispered.

“Goddess of mercy, please protect me,” said Nui, her voice trembling. She looked to her goddess of mercy statue, and then she could no longer contain the excruciating pain and let out a loud cry. Moments later, her cry was replaced by that of her child.

“He is born!” proclaimed the midwife.

Right after the words left her mouth, a deafening crash of lightning filled the house. Nui couldn’t see a thing, but once it was gone, the servants let out a horrified cry and fled outside. The midwife thrust the baby into her arms and fell back, shaking.

Nui gasped as she gazed upon her son, or what remained of him. He was unlike anything she had ever seen before, he was frightening to look at. No skin, no eyes, nose, or mouth, and no limbs. She at first thought he was dead, but then she felt him breathing. She had no idea what to make of this, what could have caused such a thing? All she knew was that none of it mattered. This was her child, and she loved him with everything in her.

“What is it?” asked Daigo, finally coming inside. Nui noticed and was concerned by the two slashes now marring his forehead, but was too focused on her son to ask about it.

“My lord,” she said, happy to finally have him back with her.

“Is the child born?”

“Yes, but-” the midwife started.

“What? Say it,” he demanded.

“He is born, my lord,” said Nui. She was so caught up in her own joy over the birth that she assumed her husband would feel the same. It didn’t even occur to her that he might not. And at first, it seemed she was right.

“An heir, you’ve done well!” he exclaimed.

“Sir, no!” the midwife cried out, but he ignored her. Daigo looked down at his child and his mouth dropped open. The midwife explained the child’s condition, scared and confused by it.

Daigo didn’t respond for a time. Nui gently said, “My lord, I feel a deep love for this woeful child of ours. No matter his appearance, he is our son.”

Her husband seemed to be deep in thought, his expression unreadable. But then he let out a harsh laugh, startling her. “My dreams will be fulfilled.” He turned to look at her, his eyes gleeful. “You need not worry. Thank you for bearing him.”

He handed the baby to the midwife, who rushed out with him. Nui tried to go after her, but Daigo held her back.

“What are you doing? Stop! Wait!”

“Forget him, he never even existed,” said Daigo. There wasn’t a hint of remorse or grief in his voice, the child truly meant nothing to him.

“No, don’t!” she pleaded, trying to stand. Daigo continued restraining her as a servant hurried in and urged her to stop, for her own sake. “Please, have mercy!”

“He wouldn’t survive anyway.”

“Then let him pass away in my arms!”

“Enough!” Daigo ordered. He made to stand, but Nui wouldn’t let go and ripped his sleeve. He paid it no attention and said, “You will bear another child. You must. The next one will be the heir of a great ruler.”

Daigo turned and noticed the goddess of mercy statue, its head missing. He spoke to the servant girl about it, but Nui was too distraught to listen. She collapsed to the floor, paralyzed by her grief. The servants returned to clean and care for her, whispering empty words of comfort all the while. They didn’t leave her side until nightfall, when Daigo sent them away. Nui was staring at her wedding ring as he came in. It was an expensive ring, adorned with a diamond surrounded by sapphires. It had once been so beautiful, but it now disgusted her.

“I will give you one week to recover, and then we will begin again.”

“And if I say no?” she muttered, her voice lifeless.

“The next child will make you forget the first. The sooner you bear it, the sooner your grief will leave you.”

“Is this the only reason you married me? So I could give you an heir?”

“It is your duty.”

Nui thought back to those days in years past, when Daigo visited her with gifts and flowers. She remembered the walks he would take her on, the words of adoration he showered upon her. She knew to be wary of potential suitors, knew they would want her hand in marriage to secure her family’s wealth. But Daigo was different, or so she had thought. He had seemed like the man of her dreams, right up until their wedding night. Even so, she had found plenty of excuses for his behavior since then to keep living in her little fantasy world. And now that fantasy world was shattering around her.

“Did you ever love me? Even for a moment?” she whispered, finally accepting the truth after all the time they had spent together.

“Don’t ask foolish questions,” he replied roughly. “We will speak no more on this matter.”

He laid down beside her and was soon asleep. Nui could not find rest as tears silently streamed down her cheeks.

Well into the night, she heard footsteps outside. Glancing out the window, she saw a silhouette and a flickering light. Nui struggled to her feet and walked over to find one of her servant girls with a candle in one hand and a bundle in the other. Trying not to get her hopes up, she hurried outside as quickly as her shaking legs could carry her.

“Mariko,” she breathed. “Is that…?”

The girl nodded solemnly, her dark hair falling around her thin face. “The midwife was going to… dispose of him, but she was killed by a monster. I’ve never seen anything so horrifying!” she said with a shiver. “But I found the baby and, well… I was pregnant with my own, about two years ago. I lost it a month before I was due. I wanted to hold it, at least, but my mother wouldn’t let me. She thought it wouldn’t be good for me. I couldn’t stand it, and I couldn’t bear the thought of you going through the same ordeal, my lady. You’ve always been so good to me, to all of us.”

She offered the bundle to Nui and she grabbed it eagerly, relieved to see and hold him again. The baby opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, and she realized how hungry he must be. She began to feed him and felt fresh tears fall.

“He wants to live, he must live.” She turned her gaze back to Mariko and said, “I’ll never be able to repay you for this kindness, but now I must ask another of you. That is, if you’re willing to take the risk. If we’re found out, we’ll both be killed. I understand if I’m asking too much.”

“I know the danger, I knew it when I brought him to you. I believe it’s worth the risk.”

“Then please, take my son and raise him in secret, no one must know he’s still alive. I’ll make sure you’re compensated for it, I’ll see to it that you’re both taken care of. Will you please do this for me?”

Mariko’s young eyes creased in worry, and she took her time in answering. Nui didn’t know what she would do if she refused. She ran through her other options in her head, desperately looking for another solution. She could run with him, but Daigo was sure to find them. No one else would take him, and if she asked, they would betray her and go straight to her husband. She could stand up to Daigo, but there was no telling what he would do if she tried.

“I’ll do it, my lady. As best as I can, I will.”

The child finished eating and Nui held him close for a moment. “I can’t be with you, my son, but know that I love you. I don’t know what sort of life you will live, but you must be allowed to live it.” Ruefully, she gave him back to the girl and embraced her. “I will forever be in your debt. Now go, before anyone sees you!”

Mariko nodded and hurried off. With restored hope, Nui returned to her bed and managed to fall into a light, fitful sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Nui spent the following year in a haze. Her every waking moment was spent with fear and anger battling for dominance over her, it took all her concentration and strength of will to keep them at the back of her mind where they could not control her.

The fear was for her son, hidden but in constant danger. The fear never left her, but it wasn’t helpful as she had already done everything she could for him and all she could do now was hope and pray she had done enough. She had yet to give him a name, she had not been able to bring herself to. To do so in their current perilous state would push her over the edge and allow her fear for him to drive her mad.

She enjoyed the anger burning within her, but knew it was ultimately useless, as well. The rage she felt toward Daigo when he told her to smile and be happy for all he had given her, and all he would give her. When he feigned sadness as he told curious guests how their child was stillborn, but that they would soon have another to fill their home with joy again. How he entered their room each night and had his way with her until she finally became pregnant again three months later. That rage, if she acted upon it, would only get her killed. And while she no longer cared for her life, she cared for the one hidden and the one growing within her.

These feelings, along with the grief and agony she felt, only made her situation worse and so she locked them away. She cut herself off from them as much as she could to protect herself, but the price was numbness that she despised but couldn’t do without.

Her only respite came when Daigo ventured away for days at a time. She still had to be careful so as not to draw any suspicion from the other servants, but it was only during these absences that she could visit her son.

Mariko lived in one of the servant huts with her aging grandfather. Hiding the child was easy as he couldn’t move or make any sound, but she still took great care in the task regardless. Nui would only visit at night, and only for an hour at a time.

“I missed you, little one,” she whispered on one of these visits as she took him in her arms. She knelt down with him and fed him as Mariko looked on, her eyes tired from the day’s work. “Is he still doing okay?”

“He’s doing well, much better than I ever dared hope,” Mariko replied softly. She poured herself a cup of tea and continued, “I didn’t think he would last a month, but here he is, still fighting. He even seems to be growing normally, though he’s a little on the small side. Oh, by the way, he’s been coughing a lot lately. I think it’s just a little cold, but I’ll be sure to tell you if it gets any worse.”

As if on cue, the child stopped eating for a moment to cough silently.

“I’ll bring you some herbs tomorrow night.” Nui looked down at him, still so small but hanging on all the same. She felt a surge of pride in him. “Is there anything else you need? Am I still paying you enough? Are you getting enough to eat?”

“We’re doing just fine, quit your worrying,” her grandfather replied, sitting up on his mat. Hisato was still eating his dinner, a watery soup that didn’t seem like it could possibly be filling.

“Daigo doesn’t pay you enough, and I’m still not convinced I’m paying you enough either. I don’t know how you survive on so little, especially with my little one eating you out of house and home.”

“He doesn’t eat that much, he’s never given us any trouble,” Mariko said with a touch of a smile. “He’s so very sweet.”

“And it’s nice having a baby in the house,” Hisato added. “Though it means I’m not the cute one anymore.”

Mariko chuckled and said, “We really do have enough, my lady. And we honestly don’t mind letting him live with us, although… I wish we could get him to a doctor of some kind, someone who could help him. He will continue to grow, but I don’t know what sort of life he’ll have if he must always be hidden.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it,” Nui mumbled, wishing she could get her son some real help. If there was any to be found, she doubted she could ever get it for him.

As the child finished eating, she felt a sharp kick in her abdomen. Reflexively, she grasped at her stomach and felt the child moving, wide awake and ready to come out.

“This one will be joining us any day now,” she said quietly. “I want to meet them and hold them in my arms, but Daigo will be around all the more once they’re born to see to their upbringing. I don’t know how often I’ll get to visit then.”

“We’ll come up with some excuse, surely,” Hisato argued. He gave her a smile that was missing several teeth. “I’ll tell him I fell and broke my hip, and you’re the only one who can take care of me.”

The ghost of a smile played at her lips. “Yes, we’ll surely think of something.”

She cradled the boy and sang softly to him, not caring that he couldn’t hear her. When his breathing slowed, she knew he had fallen asleep. Her time was up far too quickly, and soon she was handing him back to Mariko. Her arms seemed to ache as she gave him up once again, possibly for the last time.

* * *

Her second child came just a few days later. She was more prepared for it this time, but her labor was much more difficult than before. Nearly two days passed in agony before she finally heard the baby’s cry.

“You have a boy, my lady,” said the midwife, this one younger than the first but not by much.

“Is it born?” Daigo asked, bursting into the room.

“Yes, you have a son,” she said proudly. “A strong son, at that.”

Daigo didn’t spare so much as a passing glance at his wife, breathing heavily and drenched in sweat on the bed. He grinned at his child and whisked him away before Nui could even see him. Outside, she heard him announce, “I have been given a son, Tahomaru! He will be a great and powerful lord, just like his father!”

Nui started to get up, to take back her child and shield him from Daigo, but the pain in her abdomen and her weakened body forced her back down.

“Careful, my lady,” warned the midwife, taking her hand. “You’re in no state to be doing anything right now. This labor brought you close to death; you will recover, but only if you give your body time to mend.”

“I want to hold him,” she breathed, so weak she could barely speak.

“You will, you will. Lord Daigo will show him off and then bring him back to you soon.”

But Daigo didn’t return him. Nui waited anxiously for him to come back as the servants cleaned up after the birth and brought her dinner. The midwife brought her herbs to aid in healing, but could not say when she would get to see Tahomaru.

“You need to rest anyway,” she said, trying and failing to put her mind at ease. “You’re in no shape to care for a baby in the state you’re in. We’ll look after him until you’re well again.”

“Please, don’t make me wait any longer,” Nui begged, her voice shaking. “He already took one son from me, I can’t bear losing another.”

“Oh, my lady, you’re confused.” The midwife tried to take her hand to comfort her, but she yanked it away. “No one took your first baby from you, he passed away. It was a tragedy, but your new little one will ease the pain.”

Nui wanted to set the midwife straight, she wanted to make it known far and wide just how evil and cruel her husband was. Knowing she would have to keep his secrets for the rest of her life was almost worse than having witnessed them in the first place.

“Please bring him back. I need to hold him, I need to keep him here, with me.”

“You will. When the time is right.” The midwife blotted her head with a wet cloth and hummed to her. Nui wanted to scream, but she held her tongue and kept waiting.

One by one, the servants completed their tasks and returned to their huts. Once the midwife was certain that Nui’s condition was stable, she left with them. Nui was left alone, with anger and worry as her only companions.

She was almost relieved to see Daigo when he finally came back. He still held Tahomaru in his arms, but he was bundled so tightly she couldn’t see any of him.

“My lord, my love,” she whispered, desperate for his favor in her hour of need. “Please let me hold our son. I’ve waited so long to meet him.”

He ignored her. “I’m leaving for the night, but I’ll be back by dawn tomorrow. The child will come with me.”

“He shouldn’t be travelling now, it’s too soon. And I need to feed him, he must be starving. Please leave him with me, you’ll see him again in the morning.”

Daigo turned and left as though he hadn’t heard her.

“My lord, please! Give him to me!” she cried desperately.

On his way out, the baby cooed and raised his arm, and she caught a glimpse of his tiny hand. It was more than she could stand.

She waited an hour for him to leave, and then she summoned all her strength to pull herself up. Her legs shook and struggled to carry her, she nearly stumbled as she took her first steps. The pain dragged her down, and she panted for breath, but she grimaced and forced herself to walk out of the house. If she couldn’t be with one son, she could at least visit the other. This might be her last chance to see him for the foreseeable future, and she was not about to let the opportunity pass her by.

She shivered from the cold night air as she went. A dull light shown through the windows of Mariko’s hut, but no one answered when she knocked on the door. Tentatively, she pushed it open and stepped inside to find the hut empty. A single candle was lit, but it had been burning for some time and would soon go out.

All of Mariko and Hisato’s belongings were still there, and there were no signs of a struggle. Fearing the worst, Nui searched for some sort of clue as to what had happened, and finally found it in Mariko’s wooden tea kettle. A note had been shoved into the spout. Nui’s heart seemed to stop as she hurriedly read it.

_My lady,_

_Daigo knows our secret. One of the other servants found out and told him, hoping to be rewarded. Grandfather and I had to run, but we couldn’t take the child with us. I’m so sorry, but if we’re caught, there would be no way to save him. We set him adrift on the river in a boat, and we pray the goddess of mercy will guide him somewhere he can be safe and find some measure of happiness. But my lady, you must run too. I shudder to think of what Daigo will do if he catches you. Escape from this terrible place! Forget all this happened and start a new life in a new land, and maybe you’ll find something resembling happiness, as well._

_Your servant and friend,_

_Mariko_

Nui barely had time to process this when she heard footsteps outside. She quickly crumpled up the paper and shoved it into her pocket just before the door swung open. Daigo stepped inside, his expression absolutely murderous.

“Oku, my loving, devoted wife. My traitorous, back-stabbing bride. How could you do this to me? Have I not been good to you? Have I not given you everything you could ever want?”

“You took the only thing that mattered to me,” she answered, glaring at him. “I had to do something, you forced my hand. He was your son! What kind of father rejects and sentences his own child to death? You call me a traitor, but you betrayed your own flesh and blood when he needed you most.”

“That thing was never our child, it’s not human. I treat you like a queen, and you betray me to save a monster that should never have been born.”

“Our son was no monster!” she cried. “I’ve only ever known one monster, and it wasn’t him!”

He slapped her across the face and the force of it nearly knocked her down. “You chose that thing and sacrificed all I gave you. Now you will die for it, and once the creature is found, it will join you. Was it worth it?”

Nui paused for a moment, thinking quickly. She then fell to her knees and sobbed into her hands. “I know I must die for what I did, but must you torment me, as well?”

“What are you talking about?” he demanded.

“You don’t know? The child is already dead, I’ve already lost him. No one would willingly take him in, I had to take drastic measures. I forced Mariko to care for him, I threatened to fire her and have her cast out onto the street with nothing. She hated him and was waiting for the day when she could finally be rid of him. Now that the secret is out, I imagine you’ll find him at the bottom of the river, or buried in a shallow grave in the woods.”

Daigo studied her for a long moment, trying to deduce if she told the truth. Finally he said, “It’s a shame that you must die, even more so that you would involve others in this and cost them their lives, as well. And all for nothing.”

Nui said nothing, and kept her head down.

Daigo drew a long length of rope and held it taut. “I will make this quick, I’ll grant you enough mercy for that, at least. You’ll be reunited with the monster, though I wonder if he resents you for drawing out his suffering when it could have been over so much sooner. You could have spared him and all the rest of us so much pain.”

“Do it then,” she said, looking him in the eye.

She didn’t move as he knelt down behind her and pulled the rope around her neck. She waited until he started to pull it tight, and then she reached for the dagger she kept tied to her leg. She had kept it on her person at all times ever since that day a year ago, waiting for the right time to use it. She stabbed him in the shoulder and he fell back, in pain and surprise. In spite of her betrayal, he was used to her submissive behavior and hadn’t expected her to fight back. Wasting no time, she grabbed the tea kettle and brought it down over his head, sending him to the floor and knocking him unconscious. Nui let out a gasp when she saw his head and shoulder bleeding, she had never thought herself capable of hurting anyone. The sight made her sick, but she took off half-running, half-stumbling out of the hut and into the woods, away from him. She ripped off her wedding ring and threw it as far as she could, glad to finally be rid of it.

 _Tahomaru,_ she thought to herself. _I can’t abandon you._ The guilt nearly overtook her and she glanced back, considering going back for him. But she had to accept that she couldn’t. Daigo would awaken soon and he wouldn’t fail in killing her a second time. And she didn’t even know where he was. There was nothing she could do for him, he was completely at the mercy of his father. She knew Daigo would care for him, he was his heir after all. She could only hope that Tahomaru would manage to have a good life, and that they might meet one day.

She followed the river, searching for the boat carrying her child in the pale light of the stars above. There was no telling where it would end up, or if she would ever find it. She put that thought out of her mind and focused solely on finding it, no matter how long it took.

* * *

Daigo didn’t awaken until hours later. He was disoriented and his head throbbed, and he struggled to remember what had happened.

He remembered that he had gone to kill Oku for her treachery. He found himself in the hut of one of his servants, the one she had forced to aid her in the act. His men were searching for the servant, and by now the child was most certainly dead. But where was his wife now?

He looked and saw the puddle of blood underneath him. He knew most of it was his from the wound in his shoulder where the dagger was still lodged, but in his confused state, he believed part of it to be hers. The labor had taken a heavy toll on her, after all. The midwife had told him she was lucky to be alive.

 _She did this and ran away,_ he thought to himself. _And now she’s bleeding out, if she even managed to survive this long. The demons would have smelled her by now and finished her off, no doubt. I meant to give her a swift death, but she bought herself a long and miserable demise. The demons have blessed me once again._

He chuckled darkly to himself as he pulled himself up and began the walk back to the house. The servants were appalled to see him in such a state, and several asked where the lady of the house was. He ignored their questions and requested his son be brought to him while he waited for the servants to fetch the family physician. The midwife carried the boy to him, his eyes open and curious.

“We’ve suffered a terrible loss, my son,” he said, his tone grave. “I will make it up to you though; a child must have a mother. The ones watching over us will grant you one far better than her, I promise you that. No one else will stand in our way ever again.”


	3. Chapter 3

Nui’s legs lasted her much longer than she had expected, but they still gave out before the night was over.

She had staggered her way down the river, falling repeatedly but always pulling herself up again, until they refused to stand at all. She gasped for breath and felt herself going in and out of consciousness, but giving up was not an option. She dragged herself along the muddy shore, scraping and bruising the skin of her arms and legs on the rocks.

She silently cursed the sun when she saw its light peaking through the dark. While its warmth was welcome against the cold of the night, it was sure to give her away to anyone looking for her. But then again, it would be much easier to spot the boat now. Or it would have been, had her vision not been blurred by her fatigue.

The logical part of her mind told her to stop and rest, if only for a few hours. Even a short sleep would help her improve, and there was no doubt that she was going to pass out soon anyway. But she would not hear it, would not let herself stop for anything as the possibilities of her child’s fate played through her mind.

If he wasn’t found soon, he would die from hunger or exposure. He could already be dead, the night air had been freezing. But if someone had found him, or was about to, what would they do with him? She imagined cruelties that made her sick to her stomach. But her biggest fear was the demons roaming the land. Daigo had done his best to shield her from the outside world, but news trickled in every now and again. If he was found by a demon… the imagined possibility overwhelmed her and she nearly blacked out.

She paused momentarily to drink from the river, just enough to cool her parched throat. Her stomach growled with hunger, but she ignored it and continued on.

Every so often she heard nearby voices; she couldn’t stop but she urgently prayed they wouldn’t see her. She feared at first that her white clothing would stand out and give her away, but the mud and dirt had taken care of that for her. She blended in with the shore and it kept her hidden from passersby.

She crawled through the muck throughout the day and into the following night. Her limbs screamed for her to stop and her head was pounding, and the air she breathed could no longer satisfy her lungs. Only the strength of her will and love for her child kept her going. Vaguely, she wondered how long her body could keep this up. She had been pampered and cared for her entire life, her hands had never seen a single day of labor. Nothing in all her years had prepared her for this.

 _I would have been better off to be born as a servant,_ _like Mariko,_ she bitterly thought to herself. _My body would be so much stronger, I could have already found my boy and rescued him by now. And I would have no money, so men like Daigo wouldn’t bother with fooling me into marrying them. That life would have been excruciating, but far better than the sorry one I’ve led so far._

A wave of sorrow washed over her as she thought of her mother and father. Her father had been so kind and nurturing, while her mother always made her laugh and smile no matter how bad a day she was having. It had been so long since she had last seen them. Daigo only allowed her to visit once or twice a year. Oh, what they would think of her now.

If only she had listened to them, so long ago. When she had first invited Daigo to dinner, he had been charming and polite, the perfect guest. However, her parents had seen right through him from the start. They gently urged her to slow down and really take the time to look at what kind of man he really was. They reminded her that while the other girls around her were being rushed to marry as soon as possible, they wanted her to take her time and choose the right person so she would have a life of happiness, not hardship. She in turn had sung his praises and come up with a million and one excuses to override all their concerns. She had always valued their advice, but in this one area she would not listen. They had smiled on her wedding day, but the worry was still clear in their eyes.

 _I did this to myself, and to my sons,_ she thought miserably. _I deserve all of this, it’s all my fault. Mama, Papa, I hope you can forgive me._

She nearly made it to noon the next day, before her violently trembling body collapsed by the water. The last thing she saw was the shadow of a man coming towards her, and she knew it was all over. Daigo had found her.

* * *

Although the blackout had happened suddenly, in her last seconds of consciousness she had accepted death and had not planned to wake up again. And yet, she did. She awoke on a soft mat, next to a warm fire. She smelled a stew simmering; in her hunger it smelled absolutely divine.

“Ah, so you’ve finally awakened.”

Nui flinched at the man’s voice, but then realized it was not Daigo. In fact, this man’s voice was kind. She turned her head to see him sitting across from her. He was a large man, with a spiky beard and gentle eyes. In his hands he held a piece of wood and a chisel. Her vision had not yet cleared, but when it did, she was surprised to see that he was carving a tiny wooden foot out of it.

“How long was I unconscious?” she asked, her voice still frail.

“Nearly a week. I wasn’t convinced you’d make it, to be entirely honest. What were you doing by the river?”

Nui chose not to answer. He might have saved her life, but she couldn’t trust him. Daigo might have put a bounty on her head, surely this stranger could put his kindness aside for the right price.

”You don’t have to tell me anything, I understand. Though I may be able to help you if you do.”

“I’ll be out of your hair soon enough.”

“I doubt it. You really did a number on yourself, and if you try to leave too soon you’ll end up worse off than you are now.”

“There’s something I have to do. If I can’t, then I have no reason to live anyway.”

The man gave her a knowing look; she hadn’t expected him to understand, but his eyes told her that he did. “You need to eat, I’ll be right back.”

He fetched her a bowl of carrot stew and helped her sit up so she could eat. She felt some of her strength return as she ate, but her entire body still shook as she held the bowl.

The man watched to make sure she finished and to assist her more if she needed it. She met his eyes and then lowered her gaze, already forming a plan to escape while he slept. Nothing would keep her from her son, though she was beginning to accept that there was no way she was going to find him alive, if she found him at all. Even so, at the very least she would see to it that he got a proper burial. Tears trickled from her eyes and dripped to the floor, but the man didn’t comment on them.

He took the bowl from her when she was done and went to wash it. Afterwards, he said, “I’ll be right back with my young one, he’s bound to be hungry by now too.”

Nui braced herself as he went to a nearby room; the sight of his child would only remind her of all she had lost. She expected to hear a cry, or an infant babbling, but she only heard the man’s voice.

“I finished the last piece, it took me long enough, didn’t it? But you’ve been very patient with me, I appreciate it. By the way, our guest woke up. I know you’ve been looking forward to meeting her.”

The stranger carried out what looked like a doll wrapped in a blanket. Nui was at first confused and concerned for his mental health. But it moved in his arms, it actually was a living child. It wore a wooden mask, painted white, and its false eyes seemed to stare at her. She didn’t realize she was holding her breath as realization flooded over her. It couldn’t be him, was it even possible?

“This is Hyakkimaru,” the man said, smiling down at the child. He unwound the blanket from around him, revealing a torso wrapped in bandages and four limbs carved out of wood.

“This is not my best work,” the stranger continued. He took the foot he had been working on and twisted it on the bottom of the right leg. “I rushed to get the job done, so the boy could have something, at least. I’ll make him better prosthetics as soon as I can.” He noticed her staring gaze and frowned. “I know the child is not what you were expecting, but I’m doing what I can to help him.”

“You found him on the river, didn’t you?” she breathed, hardly daring to believe it. Was she dreaming? Was she still unconscious?

“I did,” he said slowly. “Do you know this child?”

“I’m his… I’m his mother. He was born to me a year ago, but his father wanted him killed. I had to hide him with one of my servants, and she put him on river after my husband found out. I was looking for him, I was afraid I would never find him.”

The man gaped at her in shock; he seemed to be in a daze until the child started squirming in his arms, eager to be fed. The man placed him in her arms and she immediately started feeding him, calming him down again.

“I apologize if I’ve overstepped my bounds,” he said, his head lowered.

“Don’t apologize, I owe you my life and his.” She couldn’t believe their good fortune, and that someone as kind as this man actually existed. “I feared the worst, but you not only took him in, you’ve given him a… a body. I had one day hoped to get him to someone who could help him, you’ve given us more than I ever expected. Please, tell me your name.”

The man hesitated, looking ashamed, and she wondered why. “My name is Jukai. Yours?”

“Nui.” She looked down at her son and ran her fingers along the side of his mask. “And you are Hyakkimaru.”

“Now I really have gone too far. You must have already had a name for him.”

“No, Hyakkimaru is just fine.”

The boy raised his left hand and she took it in hers. For the first time, she knew he would not only survive, he would thrive. “Jukai, would it be all right if Hyakkimaru and I stay here with you?”

He glanced away, his expression remorseful. “You are both welcome in my home, though you wouldn’t want to if you knew who I am, if you knew my past. I’ve tried to make up for my misdeeds, but nothing I do will ever be enough. I was a different man when I fought in the war, and I will carry the weight of my sins for the rest of my life.”

“I have nowhere else to go, and I too have made mistakes that I’ll spend the rest of my days paying for. My son needs you, there is no mistaking that. I’ll do whatever it takes to compensate you for your work. If you’ll let us stay, I will become your servant.”

“I won’t have any servants working for me, but I could use some help around here. And I figure you could use a hand in raising that boy of yours. We’ll look after each other, and the child. How does that sound?”

Nui didn’t answer right away. She held Hyakkimaru closer to her chest as he gave a tiny yawn. Jukai had already given her too much without asking anything in return, could she really accept more?

“Is that really all you ask? It doesn’t seem right.”

“It is more than fair, I believe.”

“Then yes, we accept. We’ll take care of each other… though you’ll have to be patient with me. I’ve never learned to cook or clean or sew, or anything. As it stands now, I’m pretty much useless.”

Jukai gave a small chuckle. “No need to worry, I imagine you’ll be a fast learner. And in return, you can teach me in bringing up children. Hyakkimaru is my first, you know.”

Nui gave a real smile for the first time in ages. “It’s a deal.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Don’t give up, little one. You’ll catch him,” Nui encouraged with a little laugh.

She was out in the garden pulling weeds, and every so often she would look up to watch Hyakkimaru as he played. He was on his hands and knees, trying to catch a frog but so far having no luck. He would tense up like a cat and try to pounce on it, but it jumped away every time. It didn’t seem frightened, it just wasn’t in the mood to be held by a hyper three year old.

Hyakkimaru’s mask hid the frustration he must have been feeling after having lost the frog so many times. And yet, he kept trying anyway. He had never been one to give up without a fight.

Nui tried to imagine her little Tahomaru here to play with him. He would be walking and learning to speak by now. She imagined her two boys making up games together and getting in trouble, and falling asleep in her arms. Her eyes stung with unshed tears.

She pulled up a particularly large weed and tossed it into the weed bucket. She wiped the sweat from her brow and then rubbed the soreness out of her hands. Caring for the garden was much harder than she had initially expected, it had taken her a while to get the hang of it. But even though it was arduous and often tedious work, she greatly enjoyed it. It helped to ease her nerves, and in a world where she often felt like she was failing everyone and herself, it was nice to have visual proof of the progress she was making. She also enjoyed it because she hadn’t made as much progress in other tasks, such as cooking. Jukai mostly handled that so their meals would be edible.

She became absorbed in her work, to the point where she didn’t notice Hyakkimaru crawling toward her a while later. He startled her by shoving the frog in her face, eager to show her his accomplishment. With his other hand, he felt her face to gauge her reaction. Nui smiled wide and nodded her head, and he nodded his head in turn, satisfied.

“Good work, little one. I knew you could do it.”

Hyakkimaru released the frog and knelt down by his mother. He tried to help her, but accidentally uprooted one of the growing cabbages. Nui took his hand and placed it on her face and shook her head, and he gave it back to her, disappointed. She replanted it and then guided his hands to the weeds. He pulled one and she nodded her head approvingly, and he instantly cheered up again. As he helped her with the work, she wondered as she had many times before just how his vision worked. His wooden eyes were only for show, and yet somehow he could see much of the world around him. She wondered what she looked like to him.

Hyakkimaru glanced up every now and again, making sure he didn’t miss anything around him. He eventually grew bored with the garden and started off to catch more critters, but then he stopped and tugged on Nui’s dress. She looked up to see him stroking his chin.

“Is he back already?” she asked, somewhat impressed. While his vision was lacking in many ways, there were a few ways in which it was superior. She looked but couldn’t see Jukai yet, he wasn’t close enough.

Hyakkimaru stood and forgot himself, as children tend to do. He tried to walk toward Jukai but stumbled. Walking was difficult with his prosthetics and he still had a ways to go in mastering them, so Jukai had made him a walker to use in the meantime. He groped for it with his hands and Nui went to fetch it for him. She helped him up and he hurried to Jukai as fast as he could.

Jukai was carrying the fish he had caught that day. He smiled as Hyakkimaru approached him, and he picked him up in his arms. He rubbed his forehead against the boy’s, his way of showing him affection. Hyakkimaru returned the gesture and then made a fist with his hand and made it jump, and then he clasped his hands together.

“You caught a grasshopper?” Jukai asked.

“A frog,” Nui clarified. “It took him all morning, but he did it.”

“Very good,” said Jukai, nodding his head as Hyakkimaru felt it. He looked to Nui and said, “I didn’t catch as many as I’d hoped, but we’ll eat well enough tonight.”

“I’m nearly done with the gardening, and then I’ll get to the washing. The work never ends, does it?”

“Not in my experience, no.”

Although Nui complained about the work, it was a relief to always have something to keep her hands and mind busy. She finished the weeding and then she went to fetch the laundry. Hyakkimaru stayed with Jukai as he cleaned the fish.

Nui walked down to the riverbank and started scrubbing at their dirty clothes. In the early days her hands had blistered from the work, but in the time since they had hardened and adapted. She gazed out at the landscape around her as she scrubbed, taking time to appreciate it.

In her youth, she had grown up with a lovely flower garden behind her parent’s mansion, and she had spent many hours there. But rarely had she set foot beyond it. She and her parents hadn’t liked to venture out much, they preferred the safety and familiarity of home. Living with… him, she had travelled even less. He had spent much of his time away, but rarely invited her to accompany him. 

Living here, with Jukai, she never left except to travel to the nearest market, and only when necessary. But his hut was located in a beautiful part of the woods, with a grand view of the nearby mountains. The sun lit them up with its rays and the breeze caressed the grass and leaves, giving them life. The flowers growing along the shore were beginning to bloom, and their scent was better than any perfume out there. She often chastised herself for never seeing all that nature had to offer before now. 

Hyakkimaru joined her a short while later. He plopped down in her lap and did his best to help her scrub the blanket she was washing.

“My sweet boy,” she said softly. “Always eager to help your mama.”

Although Hyakkimaru was always willing to lend a hand, he never kept it up for long as he was easily distracted. He worked for a few minutes and then leapt off her lap and into the water, grabbing at the fish swimming by. He didn’t catch a single one, but he enjoyed himself nonetheless.

Nui finished washing and hung up the laundry to dry. When she was done, she returned to find him still splashing around in the water, completely soaked. A chilly wind had begun to blow, but he hadn’t noticed. A blizzard could start up around him and he would be none the wiser. Nui went to the hut for a towel and went in the river to wrap him up. Hyakkimaru squirmed a little, miffed that she had interrupted his playtime. But then he relented and let her hold him close as she brought him back to the house. Jukai had just finished cleaning the fish and he was cleaning up the mess.

“Good luck,” he said, grimacing a little. “Let me know if you need help.”

Nui nodded and took him to his room. She removed his clothes and, with a wet cloth, washed away the mud from his prosthetics and mask. She then set to the long process of removing the old, dirty bandages from around his neck and torso and applying new ones. Hyakkimaru kept trying to get up during the process, not liking to sit still for very long. She had to repeatedly catch him and sit him back down, which only frustrated him more.

“I wish I could explain this to you, little one,” she said, rather breathlessly. He was strong and put up a good fight. On his bad days, it took both her and Jukai to get the job done. “I wish I could help you understand.”

Hyakkimaru shook his head and pulled away in protest, having not a clue as to why he was subjected to this every day, sometimes more than once. In his anger, he yanked his mask off and threw it across the room. He wasn’t very fond of the mask and so he did this often. Nui sighed but continued on with her task until it was done. She then gave him clean clothes to put on and helped him when needed. Once he was clothed again, he immediately crawled away. He stroked his chin as he went, his way of calling for Jukai. He always retreated to the one who hadn’t put him through the torture of sitting still, so she and Jukai usually took turns being the bad guy. 

“Oh, poor boy,” she heard Jukai say. “You’re all changed and clean. What a nightmare.”

Nui took a moment to catch her breath before picking up the mask and rejoining them in the kitchen. Jukai was holding Hyakkimaru again. The boy was laying his head on his shoulder, as though he had just been through a terrible trauma.

“Let’s hope these tantrums don’t last much longer,” said Nui, shaking her head. She handed the mask to him and he put it back on him, to Hyakkimaru’s chagrin. “He’s growing so fast. The day will come when he won’t have to listen to either of us anymore, and he’ll go running around naked.”

Jukai laughed and Hyakkimaru placed a hand on his mouth and throat, enjoying the feeling of it. As he spoke, the boy opened and closed his mouth, imitating him. “I’m sure the tantrums are a phase, all children do it. As different as he is in many ways, it’s remarkable how similar he is in others.”

“Look at him, he wants to speak with us so badly. If only there was a way to reach him, to help him open up,” Nui lamented.

Jukai had stopped talking and Hyakkimaru didn’t like that. He tilted Jukai’s face by the chin and pointed at his mouth while opening and closing his own again. “The day may come when we’ll find a way. I just… I don’t know how.”

Nui thought back to when Hyakkimaru had tried to tell Jukai about the frog, how he had communicated with his hands. She had heard of the deaf speaking in that way, but she knew nothing more about it.

They both fell silent, which seemed to irritate Hyakkimaru. He wiggled out of Jukai’s arms and pulled him by the hand towards the door. He stopped momentarily to look at his mother and tug at his hair, calling to her.

“I suppose I’m forgiven,” she said, taking his other hand.

The boy led them outside, and Jukai suggested, “Why don’t we have our dinner out here tonight? Under the stars.”

“I’ll grab us some blankets, it’s pretty chilly out there.”

The two of them helped Hyakkimaru outside to the firepit. He dug in the dirt for bugs while Jukai started a campfire and Nui fetched blankets and the fish. She bundled Hyakkimaru up; he didn’t understand this either but was willing to put up with it. Jukai started the fish cooking and lightly seasoned them. They ate heartily, enjoying the meal and each other’s company.

Afterwards, Jukai went back into the house and brought out a small wooden contraption. It was in the shape of a ball, but it had buttons and parts to pull out.

“I wanted to make a toy for Hyakkimaru to play with, give him something to figure out,” said Jukai, trying to hide his excitement. “It’s a puzzle, it’ll give him something to do with his hands.”

Hyakkimaru was sitting in Nui’s lap. He gave him the toy, and the boy was instantly fascinated by it. He ran his hands all over it, pushing the buttons and pulling the different sections open.

“I wonder how long it’ll take him to figure out,” said Nui, amused.

As he continued playing, Jukai looked to her and asked, “Have you ever thought of travelling, Nui?”

“I’ve always been a homebody, so no, not really.”

“I’ve done much travelling in my life, though I’ve never left this country. Sometimes I wonder what it’s like, in other lands. I’d like to take Hyakkimaru to see more of the world, someday. He has no idea that the world extends beyond our backyard, there’s so much out there that he can’t even imagine. Honestly, I struggle to imagine it all myself.”

“Personally, I’m content with staying in our backyard. We have everything we need here, Hyakkimaru will never want for anything. And there’s no danger here. The rest of the world might be forgiving of his infirmities… or they might reject him.”

“I know, the risk is too great. Still, it would be nice. At the very least, I wish he could have a friend his own age. Even at our best, we can’t replace that.”

“I had friends, when I was young,” she said wistfully. “We had so much fun growing up together, and I felt like I could tell them anything. My husband forbade me from seeing them after we were married, but I convinced myself that I didn’t need them, that he was enough. How could I have been so stupid? Even if he had been good to me, I needed them, not just him. And now, I’ll never see them again.” Nui wiped a tear from her eye, but offered Jukai a small smile. “At least I have you, though. You have been such a good friend to me, far better than I deserve.”

“I don’t know where I would be now without you and the child. That’s an honest fact.”

“Hyakkimaru deserves someone he can play and connect with on his own level, but I don’t see how we can ever make that happen. I pray the day may come eventually, but until then… we’ll have to do our best to be enough.”

There was a long pause, in which Hyakkimaru got to the center of the ball and discovered the prize inside: a tiny wooden carving of a frog. The boy held it up to show them, nodding his head to let them know he was pleased.

“I really thought it would take him a while longer to get it,” said Jukai, shaking his head with a smile. “He outsmarted me.”

“You’ll just have to try again. Maybe next time you’ll stump him.”

“I doubt it. This boy of yours is one of a kind.”

“This boy of _ours_ ,” she corrected softly. She looked up to see Jukai’s look of surprise, followed by a bashful smile.

“You don’t know how much that means to me.”

“You have been such a good papa to him, he couldn’t ask for anyone better.”

The two sat in silence for a time, while Hyakkimaru curled up in his mother’s arms. She ran her fingers through his hair and softly sang to him. He placed his hand on her throat to feel it, and was soon asleep. He was usually the first to go to sleep each night, but he was also nearly always the first to awaken each morning.

Jukai watched the boy for a moment before saying, “There’s something I miss from my childhood, telling stories by the campfire. Do you know any?”

“Actually, I do,” said Nui, getting excited. “My great-great-grandparents were haunted by the ghosts of the family who used to live in their house. The old owners had grown so angry and bitter that they became ghouls, and supposedly they were scarier than any ghoul ever seen before. The haunting got so bad that one of my grandparents was scared to death.”

“You’re making that up,” Jukai challenged.

“We’ll see what you think when my tale has been told.”

Nui and Jukai spent hours after trading stories, some based on true events and others not so much. The two felt like children again, long before the horrors of the world had made themselves known to them. For a short while, they forgot their troubles and all was right with the world.


	5. Chapter 5

Tahomaru’s eyes drifted away from his studies without him realizing it. He gazed out the window, longing to be out there instead of being cooped up inside. A light summer rain was falling; the day wouldn’t be too hot, and it was the perfect time to go out and catch frogs and worms and anything else he might come across.

He was snapped back to reality when he felt the harsh smack of a ruler against his knuckles. He jerked his head back to see his instructor glaring down at him.

“Young lord, your father doesn’t pay me to let you daydream.” Fumiko had been tutoring the boy for two years now, and never once had she let him get away with anything. In a way Tahomaru had to respect this, as most people in his life let him have his way to keep from disrespecting his father. But at eighty-four, with silvery white hair pulled back in a tight bun and too many wrinkles to count, Fumiko wasn’t worried.

“How do you know I was daydreaming?” he shot back. “These sums are hard, maybe I was trying to figure them out.”

“You were looking far too happy for that.”

Tahomaru couldn’t argue with that, so he stuck his tongue out at her instead.

“You’ll be six years old soon, and your father expects nothing short of the very best from you and I both. If you want to follow in his footsteps, I suggest you start taking your studies more seriously.”

“We’ve been at this for hours! It’s the middle of the afternoon, we should be done by now,” Tahomaru huffed as he folded his arms across his chest.

“We would have been, if you hadn’t spent the majority of the day with your head in the clouds. Now, back to work!” she ordered.

Tahomaru grumbled under his breath as he dipped his brush in the inkpot. The work wasn’t actually hard for him, but staying focused was. He knew she was in the right, his father would be very displeased if he started falling behind in his studies. And he did very much want to impress him and rule like him one day. But at his age, those weren’t his top priorities.

“Knock, knock!” said a cheery voice as she knocked on the door. Tahomaru grinned and instantly perked up. Fumiko whacked him on the knuckles again, but he ignored her as his stepmother barged in without being invited.

Kirika was wearing a brand new flowery kimono and at least three layers of makeup. She beamed at him and said, “Schooltime’s over, I’ll be taking Tahomaru with me.”

“Absolutely not.” Kirika was the one person who annoyed Fumiko more than Tahomaru. “You can wait until he’s finished.”

“Um, school should have been over like, two and a half hours ago. I want to feed the ducks in the pond, and I need him to do it so I won’t break a nail.”

“How on earth could you break a nail that way?” Fumiko asked, incredulous.

“I could find a way, trust me. Come along, Tahomaru!”

Fumiko shot daggers at her, but could do no more against the lady of the house. Tahomaru took her hand and the two of them walked outside. Kirika opened an umbrella to shield them from the rain.

“Thanks so much, Mama. I was afraid she would never let me out of there.”

“It wasn’t for you, love. Like I said, I have to protect these nails at all cost.”

The two laughed as they walked in the opposite direction of the koi pond. Kirika had requested it for her wedding present four years ago, and while she loved it dearly, it was not where she intended to take him. She passed the umbrella to him while she touched up her makeup. She was one of the most gorgeous women in the land without even trying, but that didn’t stop her from trying.

“Anything interesting happen in school today?” she asked nonchalantly.

“Does anything interesting ever happen in school?” he muttered.

Kirika frowned for a moment, but then smiled again. She kept the smile plastered to her face until they reached their destination; the old cellar beneath the house, their little hideaway. They were unlikely to be disturbed there. She opened the hatch and gestured for him to go in first, and she followed after.

Tahomaru lit the lamp they kept down there and breathed in the old, musty scent of the place. Daigo had fresh food brought to them for every meal, so the cellar had been pretty much forgotten.

The two sat down across from each other. Kirika dragged her fingers down her face and then spoke with them. _“This makeup itches so much. Why do I torture myself with it?”_

Tahomaru raised his hands and signed back, his movements slower and clumsier, but clear enough. _“Why do you bother with it?”_

_“I want to stay out of trouble, and wearing too much makeup and saying every stupid thing that pops into my head will help with that.”_

_“Why would that keep you out of trouble? What are you worried about?”_ he asked, but Kirika only shook her head.

Since the first time they met, his stepmother had been teaching him sign language. She told him that her twin sister Kaya was deaf, and she still treasured the language despite the fact that she would likely never see her again. They only signed in private though and never around Daigo, for reasons she hadn’t fully explained to him.

She quickly changed the subject. _“Tahomaru, I know Fumiko is an irritating hag, but I don’t want to ever hear you complaining about school again. You’re receiving an education that so many children around the world long for. You’ll have endless possibilities when you grow up that the rest of us can only dream of.”_

_“Didn’t you go to school? Your family’s rich enough.”_

_“I did, for a little while. I… I had trouble learning. The words on the paper got all mixed up in my head, I struggled to read them. I tried so hard to get it, to make myself understand, but my tutor didn’t believe me and thought I was just trying to get out of the work. And then my parents decided I didn’t need an education anyway. I begged them to let me try again, but they told me I should focus on becoming a lady so I could one day get a good husband, instead. Kaya tried to teach me, but I still struggled without a tutor. When your father came around with all his wealth and power, my mother and father practically worshiped him. They’d had high hopes for me, but not that high. I didn’t get much say in the matter, they weren’t about to let me ruin such an opportunity.”_

_“I’m sorry. But what would you have done if you could have finished your schooling?”_

_“You’ll laugh at me.”_

_“No I won’t.”_

_“I wanted to be a cartographer.”_ Before he could ask what that was, she explained, _“I wanted to travel and draw maps of the places I visited. I used to draw maps of my parent’s estate and my friend’s houses. Kaya and I were always coming up with new worlds in our heads, and we drew the most beautiful maps for them.”_

_“That sounds amazing, and you could still do it! We have the money for you to go back to school, and then you could go out and live your dreams. I could even go with you!”_

Kirika gave him a small, sad smile. _“If things were different, maybe I could. Something you’ll learn as you grow up is that some things must be sacrificed in order to get by and survive. But I still have things in my life to be grateful for. This isn’t the life I would have chosen, but I at least got a wonderful son out of the deal.”_

_“Maybe I could talk to Father about-”_

“No!” she blurted out loud by mistake. She covered her mouth with her hands and cast a nervous glance upward, afraid they had been caught. She rearranged her expression to one of calm and signed, _“What I mean is, you shouldn’t bother your father with this. We can ask for things like new clothes and koi ponds, but if we’re not careful and say or ask for too much, we’ll be stepping out line. We need to remember our place in his house.”_

Kirika kept her fear of Daigo masterfully hidden, but every now and again she slipped and Tahomaru saw the cracks in her façade. He didn’t understand why she felt this way. He knew his father was a stern man who had no time for nonsense or foolishness, but he was still a good man. He was good to him and his wife, and even to the servants. Or at least, Tahomaru had never seen anything to make him think otherwise.

“Tahomaru!” he heard Daigo call out from the house. He noticed the tiniest flinch from Kirika. “Return to the house at once!”

The two of them climbed out of the cellar and sneaked back to the front of the house. The rain had stopped by then, but the air was still very humid.

“Here I am, Father!” Tahomaru announced as he ran to give his father a hug. Rather than return his embrace, Daigo patted him on the shoulder.

“How were your lessons today?”

“Fine. The sword-fighting went well I think, but Fumiko was even more boring than usual.”

“She told me you left early, without her permission. And that you were behind it, my wife.” His tone was neutral, but Tahomaru braced himself for what was coming.

“Fumiko kept him too long, he needed a break. All that work would have given me a headache.”

“She said you were going to take him to the koi pond, but you weren’t there,” he pressed.

“We were going to, but then I changed my mind. We went for a walk in the woods, and wouldn’t you know it, I got us lost,” she said with a flighty laugh. “This son of yours really knows his way around, he got us back home.”

Tahomaru looked up to see him frowning at her. Daigo opened his mouth to speak, but she stopped him by putting her hands on his shoulders and rubbing them. “You’ve been working all day, my lord, you must be exhausted. Your shoulders are so tense! Let’s have dinner, and then I’ll see to it that you get some relaxing done.”

Successfully having defused the situation, Kirika led him by the hand into the dining room where dinner was waiting. As they ate, Daigo told them of his latest exploits against the Asakura clan, and how he planned to soon defeat them once and for all. Tahomaru was usually enamored by every word his father said, but that night he paid more attention to his stepmother. She only spoke when Daigo addressed her and she never contributed anything meaningful to the conversation, instead reaffirming whatever he had just said. She seemed blissful and entirely happy with her husband, but he knew that wasn’t the case. The only indication she gave that she wasn’t happy was the way she anxiously fidgeted with her diamond wedding ring. He wondered why she acted the way she did, and why she wouldn’t explain it to him. Of everyone in the house, she was the only one he could rely on to tell him the truth about things, but even she kept some secrets from him.

The largest being what had happened to his birth mother, so very long ago. Daigo never spoke of her without prompting, and even then he would only say that she had passed away while giving birth to him. He never showed any grief or love for her, he wouldn’t even speak her name, leading Tahomaru to wonder what she had really been like and if there was more to the story. All the servants and even Kirika backed this up whenever he asked, but she was a little less convincing each time.

What could have happened to her to make everyone act like this? He longed to know who his mother had been, and why everyone tried to pretend she had never existed.


End file.
